Vanity... as defined by
dictionary.com is:
1. excessive pride in one's appearance, qualities, abilities,
achievements, etc.; character or quality of being vain;
conceit: Failure to be elected was a great blow to his vanity.
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2.
| an instance or display of this quality or feeling.
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3.
| something about which one is vain.
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4.
| lack of real value; hollowness; worthlessness: the vanity of a selfish life.
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5.
| something worthless, trivial, or pointless.
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8.
| a wide, counterlike shelf containing a wash basin, as in the bathroom of a hotel or residence, often equipped with shelves, drawers, etc., underneath.
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9.
| a cabinet built below or around a bathroom sink, primarily to hide exposed pipes.
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Today, I am a little overcome with it. Why today? I have no idea. After spending the morning in my pajamas with Emma, I finally got a shower when she went down for her afternoon nap. When I stepped out of the shower, it kicked me in the gut like Emma once did when she was growing in my belly.
I looked in the mirror and all I could see were '
flaws.' My hair isn't the right color blonde, my skin is pasty and splotchy, I need to lose 20 pounds... My '
flaws' just kept screaming for me to look at them. So, I did. I stood in front of the mirror, straight out of the shower, and examined every single '
flaw' that I have.
I decided that I need to continue this three day diet that I am on, although it doesn't seem to be working, check into sunless tanning, and re-shampoo my hair with a shampoo that claims to brighten blonde hair and get rid of the golden tones.
Once I made up my mind to do all of these things, I began putting on my make-up and out of the blue just fell out laughing. I started laughing because for years now I could have cared less about tanning. Ask anyone that knows me... I have been pasty and splotchy for so long that I'm not even sure what I would look like with a tan!
Even after a fit of laughter, and reminding myself that these are probably just things that
I notice, I still couldn't help but continue standing in front of the mirror. As hard as I tried to find the positive, I struggled. Why today must I feel this way? Why did it have to kick me in the gut today? I have other things to do, like play with Emma, clean my house and sew!
Oh, vanity, why must you creep in and try to take over my life?
