Chuck and I were really hoping that we would have some great news for everyone, but, it wasn't meant to be. Three negative pregnancy tests later, it is finally sinking in. And, I really would have sworn that I was. I have been having weird 'symptoms' that I totally associated with being pregnant.
I know that God has a plan for us and our family, but Chuck and I both were really hoping that His plan was the same as ours. I guess time will tell.
I have to admit that I really have handled it okay for the most part. The worst was finding out that one of my friends is pregnant. I didn't realize how badly I wanted to have another baby until I knew I wasn't having one and someone else is. Is that wrong? Not that I am not happy for her. I am ecstatic for them!
I can't help but worry though, that something is wrong. It was so easy to get pregnant with Emma. Actually, it happened much, much sooner than either of us ever dreamed possible. So, now, after a few months of trying and it not happening, I am a little worried.
I know I shouldn't be. Other than not getting pregnant, I have no other reason to think something could be wrong. I know that I am just letting my imagination go into overdrive... Not to mention that I have researched all sorts of possibilities of things that could be going on.
Please pray for us and our family. We are taking a break from trying to have a baby for a little while because we are trying to avoid having another Christmas baby. We don't think it would be fair to the new baby or to Emma if they both had birthdays right at Christmas. So, we'll give it a rest, regroup and try again later.
My heart aches for a new addition to our family. I know that Emma would love to have a brother or sister. She enjoys playing with kids and is fascinated with real babies and dolls alike. Hopefully soon, it will happen. Until then, I will continue to thank God for blessing us with Emma and pray that he has another blessing or two, or three in store!
