If You Can't Say Anything Nice

... Don't say anything at all.

How many times have I heard this saying?  And, how many times have I said this myself? 

So, for once in my life, I have been taking my own advice. 

The past few days or so have been so discouraging and frustating.  Why?  Well, for a whole host of reasons.  Several, I won't go into, but part of it was exhaustion.

With Emma being sick, I have been stressed and worried about her, which has led to me not resting well.  And, now it seems I have let myself get worn down and overcome with allergies!  I usually stay on top of preventative care, but I missed the boat this time.  Ugh!

So, with all of that I have been in a less than cheerful spirit.  And it seems that everything looks bleak when you feel bad.  Am I the only one that feels this way?

Along with all this, I have also been trying very, very hard to focus on being a better Christian.  Why does it seem that the harder I try, the harder it becomes?  I am convinced that it is the devil at work trying to keep me from strengthening my faith.  I know that the Lord never promised that it would be an easy walk, but he did promise to always be with me.  It just seems that the devil keeps trying to use my own human nature against me.  Know what I mean?

I have been trying to set aside a time for my devotional.  And, I do really well for a while, then 'life' takes over.  Which, that doesn't make sense when you think about it... What is life without a Savior?  And, to really have life with a Savior, you must spend time with Him.

I recently read the book The Shack.  It is a fantastic book that really opened my eyes to the way I have always thought about God.  And, since then, I have really been trying to figure things out... Not like figure God out, because I know that isn't possible.  But just figure out what I believe, understand it, and be able to share it.

So, as I prepare for 'the road less traveled,' there may be more frequent periods of quite.  I just want to take time to be still and quite so that I can truly listen.


 

BUGGED by BUGS!!!

So, after a month of ear aches, we had our appointment with Dr. B, our Ears, Nose, and Throat specialist, today.

It was quite relieving even though it didn't go the way I had hoped.  Relieving, how?  Funny you should ask...

I have talked to so many people about ear infections, the causes, the treatments, the home remedies; you name it, I have researched it.

Last night, my dear sweet husband told me that his dad (Papa) had spoken with a Neonatologist friend about Emma's persistent ear aches.  This doctor asked Papa if we had a pet in the house, which we do.  He proceeded to say that a lot of children with pets in the house struggle with ear infections.

I questioned Chuck about the why and how of this, which he didn't know... He didn't get that information.  Then I turned to my next source, my sister-in-law.  I sent her a quick text and awaited her reply.  And, while I was waiting, I decided to see what I could find on the internet.

BIG MISTAKE!


Actually, it wasn't a BIG MISTAKE, it was a 


HUGE MISTAKE!!!!!


Have you ever plugged in "ear infections caused by pets" into google????  What was I thinking?  The first thing I found, didn't even mention pets.  However, as I continued to search, the information I found talked about ear mites.  

Yes, EAR MITES... Have you ever seen these...



These disgusting little creatures!?!?!  Did you know that it IS possible to get ear mites from your pets?

Granted, the likelihood of this happening is virtually never, but still, it IS possible!  I panicked.  Like, sick to my stomach, lost my child in a huge crowd, kind of panicked!  How was I going to tell Chuck?  How did I let this happen?  How have I not known this?  Why haven't the doctors that we have seen already considered this.

My husband doesn't love-LOVE Meiko (our dog) like I do.  If Emma has ear mites because of him, he would have to go.  There is no way I could argue with that either.

So, what did I do?  What any 'rational' person would do... I began cleaning the house, bathing the dog, trying to 'get rid' of the possibility of ear mites... Even though I knew the chances of Emma having ear mites was virtually none.

I know that Chuck had to think I was crazy.  I had been saying how tired I was, and then all of a sudden, I have all this energy to clean.  And, seriously, if she had had ear mites, what good was cleaning up the kitchen going to do?

When I finally gave up and went to bed, I tossed and turned as I dreamed of little disgusting critters crawling out of Emma's ear.  I kept trying to come up with what I was going to say when the doctor told us that she had mites because of our dog.  I had nothing, because somehow I just don't think "Sorry" would cut it.  "Oops," either.

So, as we got ready to leave for our appointment, Chuck still hadn't made it back from work.  I was kind of glad because, if he didn't go, then he wouldn't hear the doctor say those dreaded words..."Ear Mites."  But, he wound up going and I honestly thought I would throw up.

We made it to our appointment and the doctor came in.  Talk about sweating it.  The doctor looked at her ears, made a few comments and then said we'll talk more after Emma's hearing test.

I couldn't decided if I should relax or run.  Surely, he would have said if there WERE bugs in her ears, but what if he was waiting.  Waiting on what, I don't know.  But, maybe he was just waiting to drop the bomb.

I took Emma across the hall and we went through the hearing test.  She finished that and the lady told me that her hearing is in the range it should be for babies her age.  She started to say more, but says she'll wait and let the doctor tell us.

At that point, I knew it; I knew she had ear mites and they were trying to figure out whether it was my fault or not.  We went back into our room, where Chuck was waiting, and there we sat for what seemed like hours.  I'm sure that it wasn't quite that long, but when you are about to get news like this... It is ETERNITY!

Finally, Dr. B comes back in, he had to go to the hospital - which almost causes me to faint; he must have gone to set up surgery to get rid of the bugs, right?

He tells us that there is fluid on Emma's ears, but that it hasn't caused any damage to her hearing.  And, the infection is gone!

What?  No bugs?  No ear mites?  I don't have to try to find words to explain?  My mind was racing 100 miles an hour now.  I could hardly process the information he was giving us - Emma doesn't need tubes at this point and she sure doesn't need surgery to remove ear mites!  Are you kidding me?  I'm off the hook!

It took me a minute to recover.  I sat in stunned silence and then was finally able to process this news.  Emma does have fluid, but he wants to give her time for her body to rid itself of it.  We go back in 2 months (if not sooner) and if the fluid is still there, we do tubes then.  Or, if we continue with ear infections before the 2 month point, we do tubes.

Although I was completely delighted that 1) my baby doesn't have ear mites, and 2) she doesn't have to be put to sleep in the immediate future, I am a little cautious with my delight.  I know how miserable she has been the last month.  I know the pain she has been in and I don't want her to experience it again.

I just pray that God will heal her ears completely and keep them well.  I know that HE has a plan for us, but I selfishly don't want it to include any pain for my baby.  I would rather endure the pain myself.

So, relieved I am by the fact that she doesn't have ear mites, I am not looking forward to the possibility of more ear infections in our future.  I am hoping that there aren't any, but after this month long one, I can't say my hope are very high.

But, at least tonight, I can rest knowing that there are no bugs... And, that will make any paranoid Mommy happy!