I've been asked many times over the last year and a half, "How do you do it?" Or, I've had the comment made to me, "I don't know how you do it." And, what people are referencing is the fact that I am a single Mama. I found myself in an extremely difficult situation and had to make one of the hardest decisions of my life. What I chose was to take my kids away from the life that we knew and start over. Yes, it has been hard. Yes, there have been days where I didn't think I would make it. But, we have. And, we are making it. Happily, I might add.
I have an app on my phone that gives me a new quote each day. The one for today was like wiping the fog from the mirror after a long, hot shower. It summed up exactly what I have wanted to say in response to the questions and comments. It's a quote by George Lucas. And, while I've been able to say this in many more words, I've struggled with how to answer concisely. Until now.
"Always remember, your focus determines your reality."
The truth of the matter is this: everyone has something happen at some point in their lives that is life changing. Something happens whether it is directly to you, or indirectly as to a family member, or something that happens to the world around you, but that something changes the fabric of your soul. That moment in life creates a stain or even a tear in the fabric. And, it is up to each of us to determine what to do about it.
For me, I chose to bear the stains and rips by looking for the ways that they could make my life better. It hasn't been easy. And, many days I searched without finding anything. I've even thought, and maybe even said, "My life is over." But, those were the days that I focused on the rips and tears. Those were the days that I allowed the bad to consume me and become the focus of who I was.
When I make the conscious decision to look for the good in my life, I find it. It's always there. Maybe not in the way that the world deems 'good,' but in a way that I can find peace. There is always some kind of take away that strengthens the fabric of my being. There is always something to be gained even in the midst of the greatest loss.
The stains and tears of life can either build us up or tear us down. These things can strengthen bonds or break them if we let them. We can find freeing life lessons or all-consuming bitterness simply by shifting our focus. And, It is up to us to deteremine what our focus will be... What our reality will be.
My focus is the good. Therefore, my reality is the good. It doesn't matter what the situation, what news is delivered your way, what tragedy strikes your life. You can determine your reality by determining your focus. Not to say that it won't be shaken at times, or maybe it becomes completely out of focus. Those things happen, too. But, you just have to remember that you can re-adjust and re-focus.
